I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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