Those balls look pretty dangerous.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
