Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
