can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
