don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
