Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
