I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
this boner is exhausting
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
