Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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