real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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