He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
