Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
