Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
