Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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