have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
