Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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