So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize