i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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