I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
