I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
