my phone needs a breathalizer
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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