that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize