And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
