A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize