The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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