first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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