Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
