i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
