i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
