playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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