My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
