so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
