i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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