I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
