It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize