i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
