i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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