Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize