HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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