just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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