I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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