and you said cock pushups were impossible
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Randomize
