I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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