That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
