are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
