i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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