Where is the hickey?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize