I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
