Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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