i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
