I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize