So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
