dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize