I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
