At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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