the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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