The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
