You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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