i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think your dad took our porno
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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