she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Enjoy the penises
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
