I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I got inside last night via doggy door
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
