It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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