Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
