After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize