They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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