in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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