dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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