I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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