Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
