She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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