I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
