On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
ttyl tear gas
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
