Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
