i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize