This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
where does the pee come out of this thing
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
