Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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